Beyond the Red Badge

Did you know that Stephen Crane, famous for his novel, "The Red Badge of Courage," was also a poet? I discovered this several years back, I think in my senior year of high school. I was never particularly interested in Crane until I found his poetry. Don't really like his prose but boy do I love the poems! I love his sense of irony, his cynicism that sometimes left room for hope but more often seemed desperate - and desolate. Take a look at some of my favorites:

A man said to the universe
A man said to the universe:
"Sir I exist!"
"However," replied the universe,
"The fact has not created in me
A sense of obligation."

Think as I think
"Think as I think," said a man,
"Or you are abominably wicked;
You are a toad."

And after I had thought of it,
I said, "I will, then, be a toad."

Have you ever made a just man?
"Have you ever made a just man?"
"Oh, I have made three," answered God,
"But two of them are dead,
And the third --
Listen! Listen!
And you will hear the thud of his defeat."

I was in the darkness
I was in the darkness;
I could not see my words
Nor the wishes of my heart.
Then suddenly there was a great light --

"Let me into the darkness again."

In the desert
In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said: "Is it good, friend?"
"It is bitter - bitter," he answered;
"But I like it
Because it is bitter,
And because it is my heart."

Crane's thoughts may seem maudlin but I think you have to admit they make you think. His poetry often included God or a faceless, authoritative voice but I think his opinion of God/authority was not a kind one. He seems to hold no patience for those who won't face life head-on and follow their own beliefs rather to bending to the view of authority. I wonder if he was as outspoken publicly as he was in his writing?

There's Always Something to See at Montezuma

Saturday - cool, breezy, threatening clouds, off-and-on rain. Still we saw plenty of birds and not just geese and ducks as we've seen on previous days this spring. At least one lifer for me - a Redhead (noooooo, not Lucy - think duck). Red-winged blackbirds are always everywhere around the preserve but of course since we decided to try to photograph their brilliant colors, they did not want to cooperate. Eventually I got some good photos. Also snapped shots of a blue-winged teal, great blue heron, goslings, and a dunlin who looked to be "singin' in the rain." At mud lock the month-old eaglets sat atop the nest with mom and pop keeping watch from adjacent trees. Some of the photos aren't great quality but it's nice to have a record of what I've seen.

Penny Candy

When I was a kid we used to buy our groceries at Curtis & Ward, the mom & pop store in the nearby village of Lysander. I remember Mom ordering chicken, pork roast and other meats from the butcher counter in the back. There was a big spool of string hanging from the ceiling that Mr. Ward (or was it Mr. Curtis) would use for tying the packages. The string went from the spool through an i-bolt on the ceiling and hung down for easy access.

After Mom finished shopping we'd go to the front of the store where Mr. Curtis - or more often his wife, Ruth - would add up all our purchases and enter the amount into the ledger under our name. Once in awhile Mom would have some money to pay on account - she'd pay what she could, the rest went into the ledger, and that was the way it worked. The groceries would get packed into cardboard boxes and tied with string from yet another ceiling-suspended spool.

If my mother was really feeling flush, we kids might get a dime to spend behind the counter where all the candy was kept. A dime might not seem like much but in the late '50s you could get tootsie rolls, fireballs, gum, and other candies for a penny each, and if we were really careful we'd have a nickel left to buy a Snickers or Three Musketeers (which was much bigger than what costs $.69 or more nowadays). Ruth was always happy to let us crowd behind the counter while we carefully analyzed and agonized about how best to spend our fortune. We loved Ruth, proprietor of all things sweet and chocolaty. We loved going to Curtis & Ward. Heck, we just loved going to town on a Saturday afternoon!

Were Those the Days?

If I hear one more person propose, in response to an unfortunate event, that "society just isn't what it used to be," I'M GONNA SCREAM!!!! Is nostalgia so potent that it blinds us - wipes the memory clean? I submit that the "good old days" weren't that great. Abuse, divorce, drugs, the atrocities of war.....all those things have been around for ages. Anybody want to return to the days where women were property? Interested in harking back to a time when villages were sacked, homes burned, women raped, children killed all in the name of claiming new territory? When kids duked it out behind the schoolyard? Auschwitz anyone? Slavery? ....I didn't think so.

There are two significant differences between then and now. The first is technology. Television, internet, newspaper. Nothing is sacred, no story taboo. So we hear about the school shootings, the teenage rampages, the senseless killings, rapes, tortures. Iraq and Afghanistan are right in our livingroom. In previous generations we all had the family secrets - weird Uncle Joe who should not be left alone with children, or crazy Aunt Sara who got into the gin bottle a little too much. We kept it quiet. Divorce was considered shameful, cancer thought to be contagious...we didn't talk about it.

The second difference is perhaps a by-product of the first: Things are not hidden and because of that we have taught our children to be aware, to be strong, and not to do anything an adult says without question. We have told them to speak up and tell what's happening. They know not to feel at fault when they're not. So is it surprising that children now are more outspoken, seemingly less respectful but perhaps also less afraid of adults? Like a pendulum we've gone from "don't ask, don't tell" to "speak up, speak out." And maybe right now we've swung too far but just as the pendulum will over time begin to lessen its arc and slow down, we will eventually moderate. I for one am grateful that my kids are not afraid to speak up - and yes they do say what they think whether I like it or not, but they are not afraid.

So what do you think? There was a lot of good, there is a lot of good, there will always be a lot of good.....and bad.

The Eagle of Delhi

Another great Sunday, overcast at times but warm. We drove down to Delhi hoping to see the nesting eagle. She obliged us by sitting regally next to her nest and allowing us to photograph her. We were lucky enough to get reasonably close and - HUZZAH! - my new camera did a pretty good job. What do you think?

One Camera at Three Rivers

This week I found out about two more places to find nesting pairs of bald eagles, so when the sun finally came out this afternoon I took off in search of Three Rivers Wildlife Management Area just north of Baldwinsville. Of course I didn't know the name of it when I set out - all I had was a vague set of directions. It took awhile to find the right spot but sure enough I found mom and pop eagle. The nest was in a tall tree on a small island in the middle of a pond and about twice as far from the observation deck as the nest in Mud Lock. But it was a chance to try out the new camera. The pictures I took came out pretty good but I still have a lot to learn about the camera. I got some pictures of other birds too - an eastern wood peewee (pictured at left), an eastern phoebe, and a couple other birds I haven't identified yet. Next on my wish list: a good pair of binoculars!